Interview with the face behind Proper Ard running.   Mr P. Ard.   Interviewed by Mr Seymour Butts 

What makes you Proper Ard?

I run in shorts, even in the winter.  That’s good enough for some.

What’s your running background?

Fortunately, I was born with 2 legs and progressed from walking to running.  Back in the early 1970s, I could just about crawl.  But over 40 odd years, through hard work, training and believing in myself I can run a marathon.  It’s incredible.  What’s even more remarkable is that I’ve put on 200kg during that time and still got faster.

How often do you run?

I’m currently on a 10,000 day run streak.  Usually take a rest day on a Friday, do virtual runs during the week but normally run 3 times a day.  Once to warm up, once until I need to stop for a shit, then another run to get home.

What’s your best race performance?

I once smashed a parkrun.  I was in 2nd, but we were smashing it and 3 minutes ahead of a bloke with a buggy.  The leader was about 20 metres ahead but took a wrong turn with 500m to go and I didn’t. So I won, new PB, AG record, 1st in AG, 1st Brit and beat all the shit runners.

How do you recover after running hard?

I do to my local carpet shop called Rug Munchers and its like a giant mangle.  I squeeze myself in between the huge rolls of carpet underlay and foam roll my whole body.

I then rub myself with snake oil and put on an infared recovery suit

What advice would you give for beginners?

Try to run for 60 minutes a day.  Spend 40 minutes of that taking selfies and you will be shit.